windexbottles:

mother: ew what are you like twelve

baby


wherewentz:

2007 was so important

elderleaves:

paperstreet-soapcompany:

a moment of silence for the english teachers that have to read angsty 13 year old creative writing

a moment of silence for the university professors that have to read what amounts to the same basic thing, now with 50% more grammar and syntax and 100% more pretention


funneestuff:

vine is where child stars go to remain great

deucebag:

theresavoidinmypolaroid:

If it actually started raining men I think I’d just start crying and be really terrified and not leave my house and just curl up into a ball and pretend I couldn’t hear the slamming of bodies falling upon my roof under no circumstances would I think “hallelujah” 

it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah


nickyrads:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I’m dying

brianmalik:

if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away 


palmist:

i love this blooper 

miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE


whoslosing:

this is fucking hilarious

broaaadbean:

who needs april fools my entire life is a joke

astound:

I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life